Well, for someone that doesn’t talk a lot about personal stuff, here goes a rather personal post. I have been married for over four years to the most amazing man I know. Yes, he will remain anonymous (sorry!), but just like everyone else’s, our marriage has had it ups and downs – highs and lows – moments of bliss – and moments of learning. When we got married, I received TONS of advice, books, thoughts, articles, sermons – you name it, we got it! I love good books, don’t get me wrong. But, sometimes in an abundance of material, the simple messages get lost.
One night we were talking to a couple that we know, and the wife said something so profound. So profound, in fact, that I still remember it to this day. Of all the advice I’ve heard – this is the best marriage advice that comes back to me repeatedly. It’s not that complicated – just incredibly profound.
Naked and vulnerable. Not just naked. But asking them to show you everything they are – all their flaws and all their weaknesses.
The reason this is profound to me is that I often find myself trying to “punish” my husband for things. I don’t do this intentionally, of course, but I find myself responding to him sometimes in a “just” fashion – more than a forgiving fashion. And, then I find myself realizing that he was BRAVE standing in front of me vulnerably. And I asked him to be weak in front of me. And as the one who loves him most, I am not put here to punish him – but to thank him.
After all, I don’t want to scare him off from being weak in front of me next time.
I don’t know if this is profound to you – but it has a way of speaking to me every time!
Speaking of marriage, I have learned so much from my friend Gaye’s blog, Calm. Healthy. Sexy. She writes to married women – giving inspiration, resources, and profound thoughts about what it means to live a calm, healthy, and sexy life. I love her frankness – and honesty about marriage, life, and relationships in general.
Here is a little note from Gaye:
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. is a blog for married women who want to transform their hectic, hurried lives. If you want to feel calm and relaxed, eat well and strengthen your body, and feel sexy and enjoy great intimacy with your husband, then Calm.Healthy.Sexy is for you. Even if you only want to do one or two of those things, I hope you’ll join the conversation and share your experiences and ideas. My goal is to encourage wives as they juggle all of their roles and responsibilities, and to gently remind them that their own peace of mind, physical health and sexuality are important too.
I was honored to be part of her recent blog re-design, and I love her new “Start Here” page and Sex and Marriage Resources page for new readers! Make sure you sign up for her newly-redesigned newsletter and join her for some beautiful wise inspiration!
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